22. November 2008 by Terry.

So, as many of you know the last year was very much a roller coaster ride as far as my love life goes.   I fell madly in love with someone who later turned out to be someone who I didn’t even want to be around.   During that little situation I realized how much I really am ready for a family of my own.   How much I’m ready to take that next step with someone and begin building our lives together.   And to be honest…I realized that at a very a depressing time in my life.   I realized that when the sweetest little girl I’d ever known was taken out of my life….and the sweetest old lady I’d ever known was taken as well…I couldn’t understand for the life of me what I had done to deserve to feel so much pain.

I got over some of it…I moved on I guess is what you could say.   You never really completely “move on” from someone very close to you dying but its a very touchy subject.   I’m completely fine most days but then I’ll see something on tv that reminds me of her or I’ll find a birthday card she sent me and it all comes back…every single second of it.

But, I digress.   Things are looking up.   I just got a much better job in the company and no longer have to work with my current boss……..yes……finally.   And….as weird as it may seem….I may have possibly met someone.   Its very odd as it came practically out of nowhere but she’s intelligent, funny, sarcastic…been through a lot of the same things together, have a lot in common……have the same idea’s about family and love in general.   I trust her…and I’ve only known her for a week.   Normally If I’d say something like that not only would Katie kick my ass but I’d be kind of hesitant to move any further….but I’m not with this girl.   Maybe its because I realize that I have nothing to hide or nothing to lose…..I mean once you think you’ve got everything figured out and you have your own family and then its all gone the next day….what else is there to feel thats worse then that?   Rejection?   It not working out?   Maybe I’m just at the point anymore where I just don’t care about that, maybe I’m just at the point where I’m willing to not hold anything back and put myself completely out there.   Cross your fingers for me.   Toes too.

Peace.

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17. November 2008 by Terry.

Think back….WAY back….lets say…….Circa 1997…I was just a wee little tyke at the ripe old age of 13.   The Lazer was still pumping out the awesome alternative of the time before they bit the dust in one of the most horrid examples of corporate buyouts I think I’ve ever heard of.   Imagine, listening to the ray guns, and ruskabank, and then turning on the station the next day to hear………britney fucking spears.

It was a travesty in all the meaning of the word travesty.   No more local music, no more awesome sets  or concerts…….no more spacin jason!

It was in the midst of all of this funk that I came to love such local bands as those mentioned above as well a few others, personally BFDM, as well as the little gem of a band UFB, to the unannitiated known as Ultimate Fakebook.

Imagine buddy holly, green day, and elvis costello had a child, that child would be UFB.   An awesome band that never got the recognition they truly deserved.   Once signed to a Major Lable (Sony, 2001) they were repackaged to try to fit in with all the bullshit punk/pop acts of the time such as sum41 and good charlote.   That wasn’t UFB.   UFB was good poppy hooks, with interesting vocals, and REAL DRUMS, REAL DRUMS DAMNIT.

I highly suggest you pick up “This will be Laughing Week” if you can find it at your local tradepost or hastings.   And FYI, its also available on Rhapsody.

Peace.

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7. November 2008 by Terry.

So…I really don’t know what I want to write about right now.   There’s just so much going on right now.   I’m thinking about maybe going back for my Bachelors in IT.   Mainly because I want to learn more about it…I want to learn how to accomplish somethings that I’ve always wanted to do.   I can finally sit back and theoretically code my game in my mind, what the system has to be like, how to get some things working.   Its kinda funny to think that even after all this time I’m still thinking about it and wanting to do it.   I still have no idea what Genre I’d put it in though.   I’d love to do a fighting game but it takes a lot more know how and a lot more time.   I could do an rpg but I’m just not good at the rpg system in general, more of a quick reflexes type.   Not sure what I’m gonna do with that, Though I still know I’d love to do something with it.

hmmm…

that is all.

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4. November 2008 by Terry.

Punk Goes Acoustic 2

Because I’m Emo like that….good stuff, good melodies and harmonies….for some reason over the last couple years I’ve come to appreciate a good acoustic or accapella group/song.

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4. November 2008 by Terry.

Today I get told that I’m not getting the hours I was promised.   Perfect, that’s exactly what I wanted to hear.    I also find out that because of my co-workers completely retarded remarks to my district manager, that not only is his job in jeopardy, but the rest of the guys I work with.   I don’t want anyone to get fired, because I know we all mean well, but at the same time, there are some people that just aren’t doing their job.   My boss doesn’t do his paperwork like he should, so we’ve got almost 3 weeks worth of paperwork backed up on his desk right now.   My paint guy just doesn’t get why he has to be organized.   I’ve tried and tried to get him to realize it but it just goes in one ear and out the other.   I like Dan as a person, but as a paint guy he just royally sucks.   It’s bad enough when I have to deal with customers telling me that mixes are coming out wrong and what not, but when I see things that are just unbelievable even to me, I can’t help but wonder if I should of just stayed where I was.   For one thing I’d at least know that I’d be more financially secure.   I hate the fact that half of my customers are just getting pissed beyond belief at the fact that everything I’ve worked out in the last year has all gone to shit pretty much.

I get the feeling that after the inventory that some people at the store aren’t gonna be there anymore.   I hate to see it happen but there’s no denying it anymore.   Dennis will more than likely get fired, and If he doesn’t then at our store meeting he’s sure as hell gonna get an ear full from me.   If Dan’s job depends on him being on time……….well then he’s gone.   The guy hasn’t ever been on time, literally since he started.   He was always 10-15 minutes late.   I can’t make up an excuse for that.   Alan is just fed up.   James just came in at the wrong time, and Brad is a fuckin space cadet.

The only three people that even care about that store anymore are me and my two drivers, and thats just wrong.   I’ve been there almost 5 and a half years…..been through 4 managers, 2 assistant managers, and more employees than I can even remember.   And even after all the bullshit that I’ve had to put up with over all of that time…..I still care about that job.   Maybe its because I’m holding onto it because it was my first real fulfilling job….maybe its because I know I need it right now…….maybe its because to me ……I can manage it better and finally see it get back to the way it was when chris and dave were there……..I just remember everything being much smoother then.

I just think that I can do it better if I was ever given the chance….

So if it comes down to it…….and they do offer me the store……or hell even assistant……..give me a little more money………….and I’d give it a shot……………and If I failed at it it’d be because I didn’t try hard enough…….because I know that I could do a much better job coming from an employee and watching a lazy boss…….knowing what would piss my guys off……keeping them wanting to work there……..It really is hard to believe that after all this time I still care as much as I do…………..I could do it……..I’m confident in that fact………and I think if it comes up I’m finally gonna do it……throw myself out there and see how it goes………they already know that I’d work my ass off for it……………So we’ll see……

Oh yeah, one more thing…..”…….I am William Control…………and I do not want you to like me….”

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