So….I really don’t understand myself sometimes. Ever stopped and said to yourself, wow, I’m an asshole? I told her I couldn’t be anything more than friends because I’m a very sarcastic person and she isn’t. Is that wrong though? I mean I am a VERY sarcastic person and if I make a sarcastic comment or joke and it just flies over her head and she doesn’t get it…what am I supposed to do? It gets awkward if she doesn’t get it, and I don’t know what to say. But thats not why I feel like an asshole.
I feel like an asshole because she really is a very nice person…and its hard to find those people anymore. I just think that I had a very valid reason in not being with her because of our difference in sense of humor more so the personality of myself. But…I never wanted to hurt her, and I tried to get over it and I tried acting like it didn’t bother me because I figured I’d eventually get over it. And then I thought to myself…I’m trying to get over something before are relationship even begins…and thats not good. I noticed too late unfortunately in my past relationships reasons that I shouldn’t have been with someone. Differences in personalities, values, sense of humors, etc. With Julie it was an age thing, with Shelby it was a maturity thing. With Sheila its a personality thing. The difference is that I stopped it before it started this time. So….I feel like an asshole because I hurt her, but I think we’ll both be better off in the end.
I felt like a REALLY big asshole until I talked to Katie and realized how much more fun I have with someone that gets my sense of humor and sarcasm…thats why she’s my best friend because she gets me. I know I might be in the minority when I say this, but personality is the most important thing to me. and sometimes, no matter how nice the other person is…you just don’t mesh.
ugh..