So its a couple hours before the end of 2008. I had a lot of good moments this year and a lot of pretty bad ones. For any of you that know me should know about most of the things I’m talking about, But here comes the reflection anyways.
January 2008: January wasn’t that bad. I started out the year in bed with a really incredible girlfriend in Shelby. We had just gotten back from Raymond’s new years shindig. I couldn’t help but feel really optimistic at that point.
February - May 2008: Okay…..this was kind of a train wreck. Shelby had moved out of her dad and stepmoms, lived with her roomate……fought with her roomate…….and fought………..and fought………and fought….lol….eventually we realized it just wasn’t working out so she moved in with me, made j’s old room kaylee’s room. Now….to be completely honest, Shelby was still having a little trouble adjusting to the whole being on her own thing. I figured that living with someone like me who’s self sufficient would be a good thing, and it was to an extent. I absolutely fell in love with kaylee while she was here…and I’m not gonna lie and say that I didn’t think about what it would be like if she were to be my daughter someday. Long story short…Shelby freaked out because I was more committed to making future plans than she was…..and we broke up. Me not being a complete asshole and her not having anywhere else to go, I told her she could stay with me until she could get on her feet. That worked for ……………….maybe a month, and then it just went to shit.
June 2008: This is when I had probably the most shocking thing in my life happen to me. I was working at the east store…nothing really new that day. I get a call from my sister……fro died. My grandmother was and still is my best friend in a way. She was always there to help me……….and to listen to me when I all I needed to do was vent and talk. I just remember getting home and calling Shelby to take me to the hospital………….and I remember breaking down and just………bawling my eyes out………..and i got it together……..and that was it…….through the viewing…..funeral…………….I didn’t cry again………….some people may say that thats a bad thing…..that I didn’t get it out………….to all those people I say that people deal with greif in their own way………let me deal with it in mine.
July 2008: One big ass argument with Shelby and I found myself with her and kaylee moving out and back to arkansas at the end of the month. Well……..I’m not the type to bash people so I’ll just say that it was for the best. However…………I still really miss Kaylee.
August 2008: I Finally took the plunge and went part time at the store and went out on my own with my own business.
September 2008: I realized that I went out on my own at the WRONG time with the economy and the meltdown.
October - December 2008: Went to working at the east store and south store 6 days a week to make ends meet, eventually getting lucky and taking a job at the south store with an awesome schedule and better pay than I had before I left.
So………all in all……….I’m in a better job than I was last year……..I learned some valuable life lessons with my business…….especially how much money I’d Have to invest directly to make it work. And I learned just how much I want a family of my own……..Not nessecarily today….but sometime soon. I just wish I knew what the new year was gonna bring. It’s hard to believe that after all the stuff that happened to me this year that I’d be optimistic………..but I am. I mean yeah, I don’t have a girlfriend, and I don’t know what my next step is in my career if I’m gonna stay with Oreilly or go out on my own again……….but it doesn’t matter to me right now…….because its a new year………and I’m gonna try to make the best of it.
Resolution?
To explore more of what makes me…………me.